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Recent Articles

06
Jun

Why Your Weight Needs Your Love


“Aargh… I’m up a pound!”

“Oh, good… I’m down a pound!”

“Ugh… I can’t believe I haven’t even lost a pound.”

Sound familiar?

It’s easy to obsess about the number on your bathroom scale. If that number colors your mood and dictates how you feel about your body, however, your body won’t feel loved and you won’t get the results you want.

To release weight permanently, it’s important to focus on the relationship you have with your body, not on what you weigh.

So here’s something crucial you need to do (and I bet you aren’t going to like it. At least at first.)

Learn to love your weight.

Yes, you heard me. Learn to love your weight. Here’s why: Your body carries the energy of your inner thoughts and feelings. Especially if you experienced childhood trauma and had no one to support and protect you, that extra weight most likely holds the energy of pain, sadness and loneliness.

Emotional eating may have been—and perhaps still is—your only source of comfort. And that weight can be like a cozy old blanket that helps you (and your inner child) feel safe.

What if you could shift from seeing the extra weight as pounds of fat to hate… to seeing them as pounds of pain that need your love? (more…)

03
Apr

Clothes Too Big? Too Small? Closet Clearing for Yo-Yo Dieters

Springtime clutter clearing can be a stressful time for people riding the yo-yo dieting roller coaster:

What do you do with clothes that are too small or too large?

This isn’t a simple clutter clearing matter. When your weight remains relatively stable—and when you have clothes that fit you well now—it’s easier to decide what stays and what goes.

But when your weight fluctuates, it can be challenging.

Figuring out what to do with different sized clothes can trigger feelings of failure and fear:

“If I keep gaining weight, at this rate I’ll be wearing that size 20 dress again.
I need to keep it… just in case.”

“I love that silk blouse, but I’m afraid I’ll never be that thin again to wear it.”

I typically suggest that my clients keep in their closet only clothes that fit them well and feel comfortable to wear—today. But there is no right or wrong way. When some women look at a pretty dress in their closet that’s too small, they feel disappointed in themselves. The see it as “proof” they’re a failure. For others, however, that same dress inspires them to keep making positive lifestyle changes. Imagining wearing it again keeps them motivated.

Here’s the thing:

Your clothes are worn on your body, right? So it’s only fair you let your body have some say in this. Plus, you and your body are life partners. Your body holds a wealth of wisdom and wants to support you. Whether you call it your body wisdom, intuition or Wise Self, this guidance comes from the same Divine source. From helping you overcome emotional eating to guiding you to decisions about the clothes in your closet, your body can help you.

You just have to ask. (more…)

14
Jan

Heal Your Past to Release the Weight

womanchildwalkingcroppedHave you been riding the yo-yo diet roller coaster for years?

Are you waiting for that one diet or exercise program that will finally be your magic bullet?

Do you feel like a failure, again and again and again?

As a psychotherapist, I’ve seen many people struggle with compulsive overeating and obesity. Contrary to what it seems on the surface, their challenges often stem from deeper issues that have nothing to do with finding the right diet or exercise. For example:

Maria tried to lose the same sixty pounds for years. Each new diet fad offered new hope. Some worked—for a while. But emotional eating ultimately stopped her progress. The weight would return, leaving Maria feeling like a failure yet again. When she finally sought counseling for lifelong depression that resulted from being sexually abused as a child—she could begin to take charge of her life and her weight.

Richard wanted to be thinner but whenever he started to lose weight, he began to feel nervous. He didn’t notice the connection between his mood and weight until he began having recurring dreams of being attacked. These dreams reawakened memories of childhood when he was bullied by classmates and beaten by his father. Richard recalled gaining weight during middle school and wondered if “being bigger helped me feel safer.”

Sheila began gaining weight after she quit smoking cigarettes. Her pack-a-day habit had curbed her appetite and soothed her stress. Once she quit, however, cookies, chips and candy replaced cigarettes as her loyal friends. Sheila didn’t realize that the real reason she couldn’t lose weight wasn’t about food. It was about the anxiety and panic that had begun when she lost her mother at the age of nine.

How Healing Allows the Weight to Release

Releasing weight permanently and ending emotional eating starts with getting to the root of the problem. And most often that root is inner pain. Once that pain is acknowledged and healed, emotional freedom and a thinner body are possible. (more…)

22
Jun

Stop Numbing Your Feelings with Food, For Good

WomanPizzacropSuccessful weight loss is so much more than counting calories, drinking “craving-crusher shakes” and following the latest fad diet.

Been there, done that, right?

Contrary to mainstream thinking, when you’ve struggled with weight issues for a long time, releasing the weight isn’t only about food.

It’s about your feelings.



Emotional eating is probably your biggest obstacle to becoming slimmer. As counter-intuitive as this sounds your weight issues are not due to overeating.

Overeating is the symptom. The real reason for your weight struggles is that somewhere along the way—perhaps as far back as childhood—you experienced such pain in your life that you discovered the easiest way to cope with that pain was to eat something.

Honor yourself for doing the best you can to feel emotionally safe. It’s hard to feel deep pain you think will never stop. You learned that grabbing the nearest comfort food helps you feel better. And to some extent, it does help because that sugar high or food coma stop you from feeling anything at all. Or at least, they take the edge off.

The thing is, emotional eating is a temporary fix. It doesn’t help you feel better for the long term. The feelings you push away still lurk beneath the surface, ready to erupt when you feel stressed at work, angry with your partner or demoralized when the number on the scale hasn’t moved—or, worse, moved up.

To end emotional eating and release weight permanently, you need to stop pushing away your feelings with food and instead let yourself feel your feelings. I know it’s scary to do this. When you’re triggered and feel strong emotion, it seems like you’re swallowed up by sadness, ready to jump out of your skin with fear or that your body’s on fire with anger.

You want relief. Fast. (more…)

26
Apr

Stop Fat-Shaming Yourself: Lose Weight with Radical Self-Respect

T-ShirtX2“Hey, I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.”


“I’m in shape. Round is a shape.”


“Every time I lose weight, it finds me again!”

“I’ll have more cake. It’s somebody’s birthday somewhere!”

Yuck. Not funny.

Maybe it’s because I’m a psychotherapist. I hear the painful stories hiding behind the attempt at humor. So when I hear jokes that poke fun at serious health and mental health issues, I cringe.

Our culture is so inundated with this stuff—think how many shame-inducing memes appear in your Facebook feed—that we’re desensitized to how harmful it really is. I want you to see how demeaning jokes undermine your weight-release journey, how you unwittingly join in and how practicing radical self-respect protects you from their harmful effects. (more…)

18
Mar

The Life-Changing Prayer to Help You Lose Weight


OnlyPrayer“I feel disgusting. I’m so fat.”

“I hate myself for eating all those cookies.”

“I’m a hopeless case. I’ll never lose this weight.”

Sound familiar?

If you can relate, I want to tell you about a life-changing book that will help you release those negative and self-sabotaging thoughts. The thoughts that prevent you from releasing weight.

The Only Little Prayer You Need, by Debra Landwehr Engle, is a gem. Rooted in the teachings of A Course in Miracles, which is a form of spiritual psychotherapy, this book teaches you a simple process to heal your thinking on a deep level. While not specifically about weight loss, The Only Little Prayer You Need helps you create a peaceful mind so you stay strong and confident on your journey. (more…)

17
Jan

Is Your Life on Hold Til You Lose Weight?

SONY DSCDo you skip high school reunions because you feel embarrassed about your weight?

Do you wear only dark-colored clothes to keep attention off your body?

Are you waiting to be thinner before taking that cruise? 



When you feel self-conscious about your body, special occasions and everyday life events can be intimidating. 

In the moment, it can feel a whole lot easier to stay hidden or stay home than to be seen carrying those extra pounds.

But think about it. Do you really want to let your weight take your LIFE hostage? Because that is what’s happening when you let it control you. (more…)

14
Dec

7 Signs You'll Keep Releasing Weight in 2016

JoggingBeach copy 2As you reflect back on 2015, how do you gauge your weight-release progress?
Do you look to your bathroom scale?
Or measure success by how your clothes feel?

Don’t worry if you’re not where you hoped to be by now. Because whatever those visible signs are telling you, they don’t reveal the whole story…

If you’ve yo-yo dieted for years, you know all too well that these progress markers can come and go. While they do measure if your body gained or released weight, I’m far more interested in the signs that mark your emotional growth.

Use the following 7 “softer” signs to gauge your overall progress this past year and as you move into 2016. If you haven’t mastered all of these, that’s okay. Think of them as stepping-stones to guide you. While not as obvious as the number on your scale, achieving these milestones helps you not only release weight… but keep it off forever. And isn’t that what you really want? (more…)

11
Nov

How Healthy Boundaries Lead to Healthy Eating


Do you say, “Yes” when you really mean, “No?”

Do you disregard your needs just to please others?

And does the resentment you feel about doing this send you running to the fridge?

If you can relate, you’re not alone. So many people do not learn healthy boundaries growing up. With the added demands of the holiday season approaching, it’s crucial to your health that you know when to draw the line.

Me – Boundary – You

Boundaries are the emotional and physical borders we place between ourselves and other people. They reflect how we see and treat ourselves in relation to others.

Strong boundaries are essential for your health and self-care. They support you to make good decisions for yourself. Weak boundaries support others at your expense. (more…)

02
Oct

Thank Yourself Thin

Thank You BodyNo matter how positive a person you are, there are times on your weight-release journey when you’re going to feel demoralized about your progress.

Everyone gets discouraged at times. That’s okay. When you feel stuck and upset about your weight, shift your energy by saying to your body two simple words:

“Thank you.”

Appreciation is one of the most powerful forms of affirmation. Words of appreciation release an energy that strengthens and supports your body. That’s because each cell in your body has an intelligence and awareness of its own. While different from how you and I might process it, the cells in our bodies thrive on the healing energy of appreciation.

While I’ve known about the power of appreciation for a long time, I became a more enlightened believer when I learned the story of Myrtle Fillmore. (more…)

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