Diane Petrella, MSW | DianePetrella.com

May

MY NEW BOOK: Healing Emotional Eating for Trauma Survivors

Heal the trauma at the root of your emotional eating.

Were you emotionally, physically, or sexually abused a child?

Did you suffer a tragic loss, live in chaos, or endure other adverse experiences?

And when you feel overwhelmed and in pain, do you use food to cope?

If so, my book will help.

Healing Emotional Eating for Trauma Survivors: Trauma-Informed Practices to Nurture a Peaceful Relationship with Your Emotions, Body, and Food reveals the connection between early traumatic experiences and emotional eating.

Perhaps you never thought that your emotional eating challenges had anything to do with experiences from your past.

They do. My book will help you understand why and offers steps you can take to heal.

You’ve probably heard all your life that all you need to do to stop emotionally eating is more willpower. But that’s not true. Early trauma affected your nervous system in such a way that you became hypersensitive to stress. When you feel triggered and gripped with anxiety, fear, or sadness, it makes sense that you use food to ground and soothe yourself.

You’re just trying to cope in the best way you know.

Healing Emotional Eating for Trauma Survivors is the culmination of my nearly 40-year career working with children and adults who experienced childhood trauma and use food to soothe and comfort themselves. It helps you understand that emotional eating is not your fault and you do not lack willpower if you’re having a hard time stopping.

My book teaches you about the effects of early trauma on your nervous system, how trauma shaped the beliefs you hold of yourself and your world, why food helps calm and ground you, and how to embrace and honor your feelings without using food to numb them.

You’ll learn practical and powerful strategies rooted in trauma science to help you create a more harmonious and respectful relationship with your body, food, and your feelings. You’ll also learn how to connect with your inner wisdom—your Wise Self—for guidance and support on your journey.

The publication date for Healing Emotional Eating for Trauma Survivors is September 1, 2023. You can learn more and preorder here.

My hope for my book is that it be a reminder that you are not alone with your struggles and that healing is possible.

I wrote it for you, with love.

Dec

How Healthy Boundaries Lead to Healthy Eating

Diane Petrella

Do you say, “Yes” when you really mean, “No?”

Do you agree to make a dish, attend a party, or host overnight guests when your schedule is already maxed out?

Do you disregard your needs just to please others?

And does the resentment you feel about doing this send you running to the tin of holiday cookies your neighbor brought over?

If you can relate, you’re not alone. Many people do not learn healthy boundaries growing up, especially if they experienced early trauma. With the added demands of the holiday season approaching, it’s crucial to your health that you know when to draw the line.

Me —> Boundary <— You

Boundaries are the emotional and physical borders we place between ourselves and other people. They reflect how we see and treat ourselves in relation to others.

Strong boundaries are essential for your health and self-care. They support you to make good decisions for yourself. Weak boundaries support others at your expense.

For example, Karen has strong boundaries and is very clear when she doesn’t want to do something. (“Thank you for the dinner invitation but no, I can’t. I’m looking forward to a quiet evening at home tonight.”) While she’s sensitive to other people’s feelings, she is not ruled by them.

Suzanne has weak boundaries and often says, “Yes” because she fears displeasing people. (“Sure, I’ll meet you tonight,” she tells her friend. She then beats herself up, “Why did I say that?! I have tons of work to do!”) Her fear of disappointing people makes their needs more important than her own. The resulting resentment and anger she feels send her straight to the fridge. Can you relate?

Honor Yourself

If you struggle with setting boundaries around your time and energy, somewhere along the way you probably learned your feelings and needs didn’t matter. Trust me, though, your feelings are the only things that matter. (more…)

Apr

Breathe: A Trauma-Informed Tool for Intuitive Eating

Diane Petrella

For many who’ve experienced childhood or adolescent trauma, food became your emotional life preserver, and it’s understandably hard to let it go.

Perhaps you discovered how food helped you cope with overwhelm and stress when you were 16, 12, nine—or even four years old. Now you’re an adult, and it’s hard to sense when you’re actually hungry. When stress hits, tuning into your body’s needs isn’t what you think about.

You just want relief—fast.

The idea of intuitive eating can feel downright impossible.

Because when you feel stressed and scared, you’re not accessing intuition, you’re accessing survival instincts. That’s your fight/fight/freeze response. In survival mode, impulse overrides thoughtful reflection. Think about it: If you feel in danger you don’t take time to map out the shortest route to safety—you just run.

And sometimes you run to Burger King.

A Relaxed Body = An Intuitive Body   

So can you learn to practice intuitive eating if you have a history of trauma? The answer is yes. And learning to calm your body when stressed will help you make mindful and intuitive—rather than impulsive—choices. Calming your body activates the relaxation response. And it’s the relaxation response that helps you access your intuition and body wisdom.

Think of it this way: (more…)

Apr

Stress Eating: It’s About Your Brain (not the food!)

Diane Petrella

Do you compulsively overeat and struggle with your weight?

And, were you abused and traumatized as a child?

If you answered yes to both questions, you’re not alone.

Research shows that people who experienced emotional, physical, or sexual abuse in childhood are twice as likely to have a food addiction in adulthood as those who were not abused. If you suffered abuse or other adverse childhood experiences growing up, chances are your ongoing weight-loss difficulties stem from this past trauma.

Mainstream weight-loss programs entice you to buy their food, follow their diet plan, and count points or calories. While they may be helpful, they cannot offer you a path to permanent weight-loss if they don’t address the underlying reasons you overeat.

You may be surprised to learn that your continued struggles with emotional eating and coping with triggers most likely has little to do with food, although this is important. The deeper reasons behind your stress-related eating are neurological, rooted in your nervous system’s response to stress.

Let’s start with a mini crash-course on brain science and trauma that will help explain why you feel triggered to eat and hold onto extra weight. (more…)

May

Oudong Monastery

Diane Petrella

Years ago, my husband Carl and I traveled to Cambodia and visited the Oudong Monastery where I received a blessing by the monks. Here’s a video of the monks chanting as I kneel in reverence for their gift. Would you like to experience the energy of this blessing, too? Get yourself relaxed, turn on the video and take two minutes to listen. I hope you enjoy this as much as I did. Namaste. ❤️

May

Being Courageously Fearful

Diane Petrella

Does fear limit your life?
Would you change your job, end an unfulfilling relationship, or start a business if you felt less afraid?
Are you waiting for more confidence before making that change?

If so, quit waiting. Be Courageously Fearful.

Fear and courage are inseparable friends. When you face your fears, you strengthen your courage muscle. The stronger your courage muscle, the more you face your fears.

Some fears are understandable responses to dangerous situations. Heed those message. But most fear stems from self-limiting and often, trauma-based, beliefs. Facing fear creates opportunities to heal and expand beyond those beliefs. This expansion opens a pathway to help you reach your deepest desires.

Fear comes in many disguises. It is sometimes a seemingly logical reason for why you won’t do something. Or it may be a belief that something is out of your reach, so you don’t even try. (more…)

Jun

Your Beach Body Alternative

Diane Petrella

“Are you beach body ready?”
“Got those bikini abs?
“3 Ways to get killer thighs!”

Hmmm…really?

Over the past month you’ve probably seen articles urging you to scramble and get your “beach body” ready for summer. I saw one magazine cover that said, “Get a great beach body in 3 days!”

Three days. No kidding.

I’m 66 years old and even when I was younger I always thought these Cosmo-type articles were annoying. I know this appeals to the desire to comfortably wear bathing suits, shorts, and sleeveless clothes. I get it. But fitness is for all season long, not just for summer. Wearing fewer clothes in hot weather can feel intimidating enough to those who already lack confidence with their bodies.

I have an alternative.

Instead of fretting about getting your beach body ready, how about making friends with your body all year long? Here are five promises to make to your body this summer… and to keep forever.

1. I promise to speak to you kindly.
(No self-criticism.)

Negative thoughts create stress in your body. Loving thoughts heal. When you catch yourself saying “I look awful” or “I hate my body,” simply notice, without judgment, and say to that thought, “OK, here I am again.”

Take several deep breaths. With each inhalation, imagine breathing in loving energy from your Higher Power (or Wise Self, Spirit, God—whatever word you associate with a higher spiritual energy). With each exhalation, imagine releasing negativity from your body. Then say to your body, “I’m sorry for talking to you this way”. Forgive yourself and move on. Stay determined. Changing habits of thought take time. By creating a space of love, self-compassion, and forgiveness, the cycle of negativity wanes and eventually stops.

2. I promise to accept you the way you are and hold you with pride.
(Head held high; shoulders back.)

It may feel hard to think of accepting your body if there are aspects of it you don’t like. But when you stop fighting against your body, your relationship strengthens. One step you can take to feel more accepting of your body is to carry it with self-respect. If you feel self-conscious about your body, holding it with pride may feel unnatural at first. That’s OK. Sometimes you need to “fake it ’til you make it.” (more…)

Nov

4 Powerful Ways to Express Your Gratitude

Diane Petrella

We’re coming up on Thanksgiving Day in the U.S. If you’re reading magazines, articles, and posts on the internet, you’re probably seeing a lot about gratitude right now.

While the holidays can be a joyful and blessed time, they also can be especially challenging when you’re struggling with emotional eating triggers, finances, strained family relationships, and the stress of this lingering pandemic. Perhaps you feel a disconnect with this push to feel grateful if you’re feeling overwhelmed, lonely, or scared.

If so, that’s okay. Don’t deny your feelings. Acknowledge all of them. But know when to let it go so they don’t spiral out of control. Because it’s so important to remember that even with all the triggers and extra stress of the holiday season, there are so many blessings in each of our lives. And it is a beautiful and rewarding practice to take time to be thankful for these, big and small.

While you’re acknowledging all the gifts in your life, I want to encourage you to recognize the most important blessing of all: (more…)