7 Insights Learned in 70 Years

As I reflect on my life, I have lots of regrets. I sure wish I knew earlier what I know now because I would have done many things differently.

And that’s okay.

I know I did the best I could with the level of awareness I had along the way. And the same applies to you. It applies to all of us. This life journey is like a classroom and there are so many lessons to learn as we move through.

We can’t help not knowing what we don’t know until we have the opportunity and emotional resources to learn, know, and grow.

I’m accepting of my regrets. I know I did the best I could. I hope you feel that way, too.

And I’m proud of myself for so many things! Regret, pride… both can be true. It’s life.

As I turn 70, I’d like to share some insights that have informed my life journey thus far. I hope they inspire your life journey as well, no matter your age.

1. Embrace Each Year with Acceptance

I’ve never fretted about getting older. The way I see it, we’re getting older from the moment we’re born. If we are fortunate, we will live a long life and have the privilege of getting older for a long time. Since I believe our thoughts are powerful and inform our reality, I choose to think neutral or positive thoughts about every year that passes.

Whenever I hear people talk and incessantly complain about aging, I do not participate in those conversations. I either try to change the subject or remain silent and say to myself, “cancel, cancel, clear, clear” as a way to remove that energy from my own energy field. I embrace and welcome every new year of my life with openness and grace. I invite you to do this, too.

Of course, if you’re struggling with health challenges staying positive can feel downright hard. Find trusted loved ones to vent and complain when you need to (yes, it’s okay to complain) so that you release frustration and stress from your mind and body. The important thing is to know when to pivot and regain your grounding because constant complaining is draining to your mind, body, and spirit.

What we put our attention on grows. So be mindful about giving the gifts in your life more attention than your health challenges. This isn’t toxic positivity. I call it mindful balance.

2. Your Inner Guidance is Your Best Friend

We all have a spark of divine light and energy within us. This is your inner guidance. You may think of this energy as your Higher Power, God, Consciousness, or whatever term represents to you this divinely inspired energy.

I call this divine energy my Wise Self.

My Wise Self is always sending me messages of support and guidance. These messages come to me as whispers of intuition: a thought entering my mind, a felt sensation in my body, or an intuitive knowing. It’s my best friend and I’ve relied on it for years.

How about making your intuition your best friend, too? That way, you’re always offered loving guidance and support. All you have to do is commit to befriending it and learning its language.

How do you learn its language? In silence. You can do this by regularly committing to meditate on your own or listen to meditation audios, by automatic writing of your thoughts and feelings, or spending quiet time in nature.

By taking these steps, over time, you open yourself to that inner voice of divine guidance. Once you make the commitment to befriend and deepen your relationship with your Wise Self, you will be blessed with a loving, supportive, and all-knowing forever friend.

3. Your Body Needs Your Support

I know you know the importance of taking good care of your body. We all know this, right? But it bears repeating.

While I’ve always valued taking care of my body, over the years I’ve become more mindful of what my body needs. For example, as I’ve learned more about how refined sugar accelerates the body’s biological aging, the more mindful I am about limiting my sugar intake. This doesn’t make me feel deprived.

On the contrary, I feel empowered.

You know the basics: Eat nutritious foods including lots of fruits and vegetables. Drink plenty of water. Give your body movement. Follow a preventive healthcare routine with necessary screenings, wellness appointments, and twice-yearly dental checkups, if you’re privileged to have these available to you.

Since our minds and bodies are connected, it’s equally important to take good care of your mental health, too. See a licensed psychotherapist to help you navigate life stress that feels too overwhelming, especially if you experienced childhood trauma. The fifteen years I spent in my own psychotherapy was the best gift I ever gave to myself.

We’re spiritual beings having a human experience in a physical body. Our bodies need us to take good care of it so it can help us enjoy a fulfilling human experience, especially as we age.

Along with your Wise Self’s beloved friendship, think of your body as another best friend who relies on your love and support. This way, you, your Wise Self, and your body can be the loving and loyal divine family you’re meant to be.

4. Pursue Your Purpose

I love my career and it has given me a deep sense of purpose and fulfillment for decades. I’m not ready to retire so I’m fortunate to be able to keep doing the work I love. I started in my 20s and now, at 70, it still keeps me vibrant and engaged in life.

What about you? Do you love the work you do? If not, what feeds your soul? Where can you find deep meaning and purpose?

Could it be by volunteering to work with people and warming someone’s heart? For example, volunteering at a soup kitchen, elder-care facility, childcare center, or hospital.

Or perhaps your passion is helping animals, protecting the environment, or offering your skills to a community organization that could use your support. Maybe your passion is engaging in creative work like painting, music, writing, or handwork like crochet or knitting (another passion of mine.)

Whatever makes your soul sing, do that. These moments of soul-inspired activities become your life blood, adding a beautiful and rich dimension to your life—no matter your age.

5. Don’t Take Anything Personally

My life became so much easier when I got this one. It will make your life easier too, so hear me out.

How people treat you has nothing to do with you. And how you treat other people has nothing to do with them. Our behavior is ours and ours alone. Their behavior is theirs. And all of it is fueled by the energy we hold within us.

For example, if you get annoyed with people who ask a lot from you and wonder why they’re “doing this to me,” it’s probably because you have a hard time setting boundaries. If someone makes a judgmental comment about you, you may feel upset but most likely that’s because their comment reflects the same judgment you hold of yourself. Otherwise, it wouldn’t bother you so much. Their comment is about their judgmental attitude and your reaction is about your self-judgment.

When people say or do hurtful things, you may understandably feel hurt. But it’s not because there’s anything intrinsically wrong with you, although you may need to reflect on your behavior and how it affects other people so you can learn and grow.

And the opposite is true. When people are kind to you, that’s not about you either. It’s simply because they are kind people choosing to behave with kindness.

When you truly understand and accept that people are who they are, it’s easier to engage in the world and be in relationships. Taking unkind or judgmental comments personally clouds our judgment and can trigger us to overreact. Understanding it’s not about us gives us the wisdom to look at situations with greater clarity and emotional groundedness.

Once you hold the belief to never take anything personally, I promise that you will feel more empowered and live a life of greater ease and confidence. And it leads to my next insight…

6. Forgive. Always.

I know… people have strong feelings about forgiveness. In some healing circles there’s a backlash to forgiveness. As if holding onto anger and resentment is your “right.” Or that you’re spiritually bypassing your pain. I don’t see it that way.

Of course, you may understandably feel anger and resentment towards those who have harmed you. And you may not feel ready or even want to forgive. As a psychotherapist, I never would address forgiveness until someone seems open to it. But I do address it at some point because resentment and long-held anger are harmful to your physical and emotional health.

Forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean reconciliation. Sometimes you need to get away from people and not look back. Other times, when those who harmed you are genuinely remorseful and willing to grow, it’s a beautiful act of mercy and compassion to accept their forgiveness. You then may still move on from the relationship (or whatever connection you had) and have no contact or make peace with a new way of being together.

Because I believe that we all do the best we can from our level of consciousness and I never take anything personally, forgiveness feels easy for me. While some people’s behaviors may certainly upset me, I just put into place the boundaries I need to deal with them or not deal with them at all.

Years ago, I read this quote from spiritual writer Catherine Ponder and it informs how I think about forgiveness:

“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.”

I choose freedom. What about you?

7. Be Generous

Give freely of your time, helpfulness, money, wisdom, and all the goodness inside of you. Donate your blood to help save a life. Give away items cluttering your home to enhance the quality of someone else’s.

I don’t mean to suggest that you give without a sensitivity to your own needs, of course, but to give when you can in all the ways that you can.

People need people. Let’s do our part.

While being generous is a compassionate way of living, it’s actually not about unconditional altruism. Because what you give comes back to you. Over the years, I’ve experienced how what I have given returned to me. Not necessarily in the exact ways I’ve offered, but energetically my generosity opened the space for new and expanded gifts to flow back into my own life.

I think of generosity as the Feedback Loop of Love.

So do your best to notice the many ways your generosity can help others. Give freely. Give joyfully. Give quietly. When you do, like an alchemical reaction, you’ll notice your life expand and transform in beautiful, magical, and loving ways.

As I enter my 71rst year, I’m excited about what the future holds. As I keep growing and learning and living these insights, I’m sure I’ll acquire more regrets. I’ll wrap them in acceptance because I, you, we… we’re all doing the best we can. I also know I’ll receive more pride-filled gifts and an ever-deepening wisdom.

I feel grateful.

And what insights have you gained along your life journey? I’d love to hear from you!