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Releasing Weight Through Self-Forgiveness

To release excess weight and create a healthy, vibrant body, you need a foundation of unconditional self-love. This is so because every cell in our body holds the energy of our thoughts and emotions. Our bodies are then “shaped” by the energy of our cells.

You cannot create health within a body that is filled with the toxic energies of self-contempt. It is almost as if excess weight fastens itself tightly to your body in the same way you hold tightly onto shame-based and guilt-ridden thoughts. By releasing this negativity you allow your body to receive wellness.

A self-forgiving state of mind purifies and cleans those negative energies. Only then will your body accept the changes you are making. Begin to develop the spiritual habit of self-forgiveness and you will surely notice significant changes in your physical health and in your ability to no longer use food for comfort.

We all do the best we can with the level of awareness that we have. Here’s a process to help you expand your awareness and open to the healing power of self-forgiveness:

1.  Be Willing to Forgive Yourself

Self-forgiveness starts with a willingness to release guilt, shame and self-hatred. Open the space for this healing energy to enter your mind and body by setting the intention to do so.

Simply say to yourself right now:  “I want to forgive myself.”

Additionally, write these words down on paper:

“I want to forgive myself.  I want to love myself fully and treat myself with loving kindness.”

This may seem like a very simple process. It is. Don’t equate simple with ineffective. A sincere and deliberate intention to stop berating yourself, and to forgive yourself when you do, will help you take charge of your life, feel less like a victim, and stop the cycle of emotional eating.

2. Wrap Your Negative Thoughts in Love

We all fall into old patterns. When you slip in your weight release program and you berate yourself with unkind words, turn to your heart for comfort.

For instance, instead of dwelling on those negative thoughts and feelings, remind yourself you can stop. Take a deep breath. Close your eyes. Then, focus your attention on your heart and at the same time think of someone you love, or a beautiful memory. You most likely will feel calmer. Then, say this affirmation to yourself or out loud while keeping your attention on your heart:

“I release these thoughts and feelings (or shame and guilt, etc.) into the arms of Divine Love and I open to loving and forgiving myself.”

Directing your attention to your heart infuses your words with calming, heart-based energy. It is as if you are wrapping your self-contempt within a blanket of love.

3. Practice This Energy Healing Exercise

Become quiet. Place your hand on your heart. Feel your heart beat. Now, while massaging your heart with your hand, say to yourself:

“I totally and completely love and accept myself with all my problems and all my limitations.”

Feel into this process. Repeat several times daily.

This exercise helps you connect with the loving energy of your heart. Your heart doesn’t judge you for overeating or for talking harshly to yourself. It beats anyway. Know that you are loved by the Divine energy within it.

Practice the above steps and you will begin to create a positive inner shift. Consistency is important. Be patient and have faith. Over time you will notice that the love you give to yourself on the inside will be reflected on the outside.

12 Responses

  1. audrey

    Self love and forgiveness is the key. Without this foundation, results from anything are tenuous and generally don’t last. Simple IS the most effective, as it drills right down into the heart of the issue. Lovely Diane- thank you.

  2. Piali

    Really liked this and am trying it out. Hope to release 20 kgs and never get it back since that’s what has been happening; I lose it and it comes back. Thanks.

  3. Diane Petrella

    Dear Piali – Thanks for your comment! I’m so pleased you found this helpful. Forgiveness is the missing link for many who want to release weight. Keep me posted! Love and Peace to you, Diane

  4. mahsa

    Dear Diana
    my problem is that i think that i do not deserve to forgive myself and I can not accept myself ,I always want to change my different aspects physically and mentally and i do not like myself as the way i am right now and criticize myself constantly.

  5. Diane Petrella

    Dear Mahsa,
    We all deserve to forgive ourselves. We all make mistakes. We’re all doing the best we can.
    Make a commitment to stop talking to yourself harshly. It’s OK to want to change aspects of yourself that you want to change. But do it from a place of love rather than self-contempt. I know this may seem difficult to do at first, but it’s not impossible. Practicing the affirmations and writing exercises above is one place to start. I wish you well and send you loving thoughts. Peace to you, Diane

  6. Leanne

    …To My Body

    The age of about 4 years old is the earliest I remember feeling embarrassment and shame for being fat, and since that time aswell as any bullies who have hurt and abused me, no one has hurt and disrespected me as much as ME!

    I have drawn ridiculous pictures of myself, clawed and hit my body. Cutting and abusing my body in frenzied and desperate attacks. I have hated and loathed my body, and I have mistreated it in the most spectacular way without even realising it.

    I have called myself all the names under the sun and punished myself for every perceived failure and hiccup. I have been mean and judgemental towards myself and others, and I have felt the guilty realization of what I have done.

    All this time I have never been grateful and thanked my body for the hard work it does 24/7, 365 days a year without so much as a grumble. This is the change in me NOW, from today, from this second. I am perfect the way I am, people love me for who I am now. I am a good and kind person to my very core, who has for a while lost my path and become embittered. My lovely, beautiful body has been there through all my darkest days. It has provided me with a warm, safe and healthy environment for my soul to grow and learn. It has been my rock when I have lost loved one’s and felt so alone – my body has always been there to help.

    I love my eyes for helping me to see the beauty all around me, I love my voice for helping me to communicate. I am so grateful to my heart for beating endlessly and giving me my life force. I love my feet for holding my weight all these years – it cant have been easy. I am so sorry to my knee’s who have bore the brunt of my excess weight, I promise to try and lose as much weight as I can to help you function in a less painful way. Thanks to my brain for pushing sense to the forefront and for leading me here today.

    I love me, and I am so very sorry at how I have treated me (and others) all these years. Today I embrace me and everyone else. PEACE, EASE, LOVE & RELAX.

    Love from Leanne xxxx

  7. Diane

    Dear Leanne,
    Thank you for your very poignant post. I send you love and peace-filled blessings as you continue in your journey. To your health and happiness. Warmly, Diane

  8. Dawn

    My healing journey has been long and full of trial and error. I have experienced a therapist who was mean-spirited and self-serving and others who did not know how to guide me through my fury about my childhood experiences and my intense self-criticism. I recently (December 2011) found a woman who knows exactly what I need – EMDR, art therapy and a group program with E Fry. In this short period of time, I feel hope about my future for the first time in my life.
    And now I have found this website. Thank you Diane for encouraging your readers to be gentle with themselves. The first time I read “I’m sorry. Please forgive me…” I cried deeply and with great compassion for myself. All of my grief and despair that I repressed has been acknowledged and honoured. My journey now has finiteness and my relief about this is intense.
    I am at peace with why my weight increased over the years and why my body lost its flexibility. I fully trust that this will change with the guidance you offer.

  9. Diane

    Dear Dawn,

    Thank you for your comment and I welcome you to my website and newsletter community.

    As you know, for therapy to be successful it needs to be a safe, supportive environment. I’m glad you finally found that.

    Ho’oponopono is beautiful. The words uplift the spirit and heal those negative energies we all carry inside us. I encourage you to say those words often.

    All best wishes to you.

    “I’m sorry.
    Please forgive me.
    I love you.
    Thank you.”


  10. Beth

    I have been battling my weight all my life. I have been on and off weight watchers for years. I always give up and binge for a long time before I go back. This helps a lot. Since starting to read this I have lost 6 pounds and don’t want to stop.
    The idea of self forgiveness is very new to me but I am trying and feel much better every time I read your column.
    Thank you and please keep it up. I really need it.
    Thank you,

    1. Hi Beth, Thank you for writing. Self-forgiveness, and forgiveness for others, frees us in so many ways. For those who struggle for years with weight issues, underneath it all is a often need for forgiveness. I’m glad my writings help you. Stay in touch! Warmly, Diane

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