Why Your Weight Needs Your Love
“Aargh… I’m up a pound!”
“Oh, good… I’m down a pound!”
“Ugh… I can’t believe I haven’t even lost a pound.”
It’s easy to obsess about the number on your bathroom scale. If that number colors your mood and dictates how you feel about your body, however, your body won’t feel loved—and you won’t get the results you want.
To develop body confidence, it’s important to focus on the relationship you have with your body, not on what you weigh.
So here’s something crucial you need to do (and I bet you aren’t going to like it. At least at first.)
Learn to love your weight.
Yes, you heard me. Learn to love your weight. Here’s why: Your body carries the energy of your inner thoughts and feelings. Especially if you experienced childhood trauma and had no one to support and protect you, that extra weight most likely holds the energy of pain, sadness and loneliness.
Emotional eating may have been—and perhaps still is—your only source of comfort. And that weight can be like a cozy old blanket that helps you (and your inner child) feel safe.
What if you could shift from seeing the extra weight as pounds of fat to hate… to seeing them as pounds of pain that need your love?
A powerful way to free yourself and your body from negativity and self-criticism is to disregard what you weigh and focus on caring for your body. This may sound counter-intuitive when your goal is to lose weight. But the thing is, you and your body are a team. As long as you link your weight to how you feel about your body you’re not being your body’s loyal friend. You can’t feel strong and powerful together when your relationship is dependent on anything other than love and respect.
How much you weigh is irrelevant. Just love all of it.
Think of the little child inside of you that experienced so much pain growing up. Giving your body love, support and acceptance also gives her love, support and acceptance. And when she feels loved, you feel loved.
Unconditional Love… for Your Body
When you stop being critical about your weight, your relationship with your body feels different. It softens. You move from conflict and tension to love and acceptance.
For example, instead of saying, “I look so fat” when you walk by a mirror (you wouldn’t say that to your inner child now, would you?) you notice how pretty you look in your new dress. Or you say, “Thank you,” without skipping a beat when someone tells you they like your blouse.
Ending the obsession with how much you weigh helps you better care for your body and live an intuitive eating lifestyle. You begin to pay attention to your body’s needs rather than your need to see a different number on the scale.
For example, you stop making bargains with your body like, “If I eat only salads for lunch, you better start weighing less.”
Instead, you give your body unconditional support. Your mindset changes and you begin to think, “I want to eat fresh fruits and vegetables because I care about you.” Obsessing about whether you release a few pounds as a result begins to fade. You start to take better care of your body because you want to give it what it needs, not because you expect your body to reward you by dropping pounds.
And that’s when deep healing happens.
Your Body is Spirit in Physical Form
Redirecting attention away from your weight and towards creating a supportive partnership with your body helps your body communicate its needs to you. When negativity and self-criticism are gone, you become a clearer channel to hear your body wisdom. You allow yourself to receive—rather than resist—insight about the steps you can take to care for your body with love and tenderness.
For example, instead of feeling you “should” drink more water, you naturally feel inspired to grab a water bottle on your way to work. Instead of feeling you “should” exercise, you feel curious about checking out the new health club in your neighborhood. Your body wisdom—your intuition or inner Wise Self—speaks to you in whispers that you not only hear as thoughts but also as inspired desires. You can hear and feel this inspiration—and follow it more easily—when you make the shift from being your body’s harshest critic to being its friend.
Your body is more than what you see on the surface. It is spirit in physical form. As you begin to look beyond the superficial, you strengthen the sacred bond between you and your body.
Trust that by feeding your body (and your inner child) love, kindness and friendship—you and your body will enjoy the loving, trusting partnership that you both deserve.
Will you give your weight and body your love?
Thank you Diane. I am working toward this attitude. As you say it is difficult. My weight is an obsession and I cannot believe that this is what I think about worry about every single day. So I am working toward what you have laid out in this article. Perhaps one day I won’t worry about weight. Then maybe two days in a row. I’m a work in progress :-). Thank you for your reminders.
And good luck on your book. Dave S.
You’re welcome, Dave. Yes, this may be difficult, but it’s not impossible. Remind yourself and your inner child that you are so much more than your weight. Take good care. (And thanks for your well wishes about my book. It’s coming along, slowly but surely.)
Wishing you all the best.
I love your message! And it makes so much sense to me! No more daily weighing! Now I’ll focus on my inner child and showing her love and kindness.
Thanks so much Diane!
You’re welcome, Janelle! I’m so glad this article is helpful to you. Yes… It’s all about your inner child and the love and kindness you give to her. Everything flows from there.
Take good care.
Diane – I love this message!! I am going to be off for the summer and this message had made me realize I need to dedicate the summer to me, to become the best I can. I will be starting my last year of teaching (30 years) and I’d love to finish with the best year yet!! Have a wonderful time writing. My best, Wendy
I’m so glad you like this article, Wendy! Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Wishing you a summer overflowing with self-love and fulfillment. (Thanks for the well-wishes for my writing!)
Wonderful thought. I am thankful that this is not new for me. I’ve been doing so for some time. Yes, I do weigh myself every morning and I record it on an excel spreadsheet and have done this for years! It is simply a number. While I used to be highly critical of myself I am learning to be kind and considerate of myself and some of my new habits. Your idea of getting a new journal and noting the plusses is a good one. I may try that. Thank you.
That’s wonderful you’re learning to be kind and considerate of yourself. That is key to your health. And yes… Keeping a success journal is a great thing to do! I hope you try that.
Wishing you all the best.