Recent Articles | DianePetrella.com

May

MY NEW BOOK: Healing Emotional Eating for Trauma Survivors

Heal the trauma at the root of your emotional eating.

Were you emotionally, physically, or sexually abused a child?

Did you suffer a tragic loss, live in chaos, or endure other adverse experiences?

And when you feel overwhelmed and in pain, do you use food to cope?

If so, my book will help.

Healing Emotional Eating for Trauma Survivors: Trauma-Informed Practices to Nurture a Peaceful Relationship with Your Emotions, Body, and Food reveals the connection between early traumatic experiences and emotional eating.

Perhaps you never thought that your emotional eating challenges had anything to do with experiences from your past.

They do. My book will help you understand why and offers steps you can take to heal.

You’ve probably heard all your life that all you need to do to stop emotionally eating is more willpower. But that’s not true. Early trauma affected your nervous system in such a way that you became hypersensitive to stress. When you feel triggered and gripped with anxiety, fear, or sadness, it makes sense that you use food to ground and soothe yourself.

You’re just trying to cope in the best way you know.

Healing Emotional Eating for Trauma Survivors is the culmination of my nearly 40-year career working with children and adults who experienced childhood trauma and use food to soothe and comfort themselves. It helps you understand that emotional eating is not your fault and you do not lack willpower if you’re having a hard time stopping.

My book teaches you about the effects of early trauma on your nervous system, how trauma shaped the beliefs you hold of yourself and your world, why food helps calm and ground you, and how to embrace and honor your feelings without using food to numb them.

You’ll learn practical and powerful strategies rooted in trauma science to help you create a more harmonious and respectful relationship with your body, food, and your feelings. You’ll also learn how to connect with your inner wisdom—your Wise Self—for guidance and support on your journey.

You can learn more and order here.

My hope for my book is that it be a reminder that you are not alone with your struggles and that healing is possible.

I wrote it for you, with love. ❤️

Apr

Stress Eating: It’s About Your Brain (not the food!)

Diane Petrella

Do you compulsively overeat and struggle with your weight?

And, were you abused and traumatized as a child?

If you answered yes to both questions, you’re not alone.

Research shows that people who experienced emotional, physical, or sexual abuse in childhood are twice as likely to have a food addiction in adulthood as those who were not abused. If you suffered abuse or other adverse childhood experiences growing up, chances are your ongoing weight-loss difficulties stem from this past trauma.

Mainstream weight-loss programs entice you to buy their food, follow their diet plan, and count points or calories. While they may be helpful, they cannot offer you a path to permanent weight-loss if they don’t address the underlying reasons you overeat.

You may be surprised to learn that your continued struggles with emotional eating and coping with triggers most likely has little to do with food, although this is important. The deeper reasons behind your stress-related eating are neurological, rooted in your nervous system’s response to stress.

Let’s start with a mini crash-course on brain science and trauma that will help explain why you feel triggered to eat and hold onto extra weight. (more…)

Apr

Decluttering Tips for Self-Healing

Diane Petrella

One of the simplest things you can do to support your emotional eating and trauma-healing journey is to declutter your life. Here’s why:

Everything is energy, and we hold energy in different ways: in the cells of our body; in our thoughts, feelings, and beliefs; in the tangible objects we own; and in the unseen space radiating out from our physical body, which is referred to as our energy field.

We are attached to our living space and personal belongings—home, vehicle, purse—by invisible threads of energy flowing around and through us. You can’t see them, but they affect you nevertheless because everything you own is embedded with and reinforces the energy of your beliefs.

This is why even objects from a traumatic childhood can hold you hostage to your past. The concrete, visible world of our “stuff” and the invisible world of our emotions and energy field are one.

It’s all connected.

When you release objects from your outside world that no longer serve you, you energetically release what no longer serves you on the inside as well.

For example, by letting go of outdated clothes from an earlier—and perhaps, harder—time in your life, you begin to let go of outdated beliefs about yourself too. You essentially release the energy held in those pieces of clothing—from the outside and inside of you.

Think of it this way:

Change and self-growth happen from the inside out as you shift your thoughts, beliefs, and feelings.

Change and self-growth also happen from the outside in as you release the heavy energies of clutter—especially trauma-related clutter—from your life.

Our homes and belongings are like mirrors reflecting to us the beliefs we hold of ourselves. As you look around your environment, what do you see? Do you see order or chaos ? Do the objects in your life uplift your spirit or drain you? Are you reminded of loving memories or painful ones?

Sometimes we’re so used to having items in our lives for a long time—especially sentimental ones from childhood—that we don’t “see” their deeper meaning or “feel” the effect on our spirit.

I’m not suggesting that you let go of everything from your past, although you may choose to. What I’m inviting you to do is look critically at what you own, release items associated with painful experiences and memories, and keep only those items that bring joy and comfort to your heart.

Below are some categories of items for you to consider releasing as you embark on your emotional eating and trauma-healing journey from the outside in: (more…)

Jan

My Apologies to Men who Struggle with Childhood Trauma & Emotional Eating

Diane Petrella

I have a big apology to make to men. This is why:

I recently received an Amazon review for my book Healing Emotional Eating for Trauma Survivors. Overall the review is terrific and I appreciated this person’s thorough and thoughtful response to many aspects of my book. But one negative they mentioned was right on point. Quoting:

“This book is also exclusively targeted towards women. The author explains at the beginning that emotional eating can affect anyone, but that her experience is mostly with women, and that even though men can have similar issues, they’re less likely to seek help. Because of this, she focuses on women, feminine-coding all of her references to the reader and focusing on women’s stories. There are only two brief anecdotes in the entire book that are about men.

I think that this is a huge missed opportunity, especially because she herself acknowledges that men are less likely than woman to get help. And why would men reach out for help, when they not only have to overcome the stigma they feel, but also have to deal with basically every resource on the issue being specifically designed for women and barely even acknowledging them as an afterthought? Maybe men will be more likely to get help when books like this actually speak to them and tell their stories!”

This person is right and I appreciate what they wrote. I see myself as someone who is sensitive to inclusiveness and I have no explanation for why I didn’t include more examples of men. Big mistake on my part and I feel badly about it. If my book is reprinted, I will fix this.

In the meantime, if you’re a male who experienced childhood trauma and struggle with emotional eating, I am sorry. I do believe my book will help you and hope you will look through the examples and learn what applies to you too. Because, in the end, these are gender neutral issues.

Again, my apologies to the men and a commitment on my part to learn from this.

Dec

3 Tips to Gain More Peace & Less Stress this Holiday Season

Diane Petrella

‘Tis the season of joy and good cheer… right?

But for many people the holidays bring added stress to an already pressured life. With extra demands on your time and finances (and the abundance of holiday foods and sweets) it may feel hard to avoid feeling triggered, curb emotional eating, and stay committed to your health and wellness habits.

Here are three tips to help you stay true to yourself and your body while enjoying the real gifts of the season.

1. Carry an Object of Inspiration

Keeping an inspiring object handy to use as an emotional anchor will help you regain composure when stressed.

Plan ahead and find your special object. For example, a smooth river stone to keep in your pocket or a faith-based symbol to wear as a necklace or bracelet. You may draw inspiration from a photograph of a loved one to carry in your purse or a shimmering crystal to hang in a window. Maybe you’ll have several inspiring objects to keep in different places so they’re visible and accessible.

When you find your object, imbue it with the qualities you want to possess:

Hold your object in your hand. Take several deep, calming breaths. Then, look at it and say:

“This__________ symbolizes my strength and confidence. I make wise choices that honor my health and my worth. Inner peace and self-love guide me.”

Then, speak to your object and say, “Thank you for reminding me of my strength.” Take several more deep, calming breaths.

Touch and hold your object frequently while breathing and repeating the above statements. During the holidays, keep it with you, especially when attending what may feel like stressful and food-challenging events. At the first sign of feeling tension, stress, or triggered to eat more than your body needs, hold your object. Breathe. The mere gesture of turning to your object as your anchor helps remind you of the peace and strength that is within you, no matter what is happening around you.

2. Write Yourself a Supportive Note

I learned this years ago at a self-compassion training. It works. (more…)

Sep

Trailer: Healing Emotional Eating for Trauma Survivors

Diane Petrella

Check out this video trailer for my book, Healing Emotional Eating for Trauma Survivors. If you experienced childhood trauma and struggle with emotional eating, my book will help. I wrote it for you, with love. ❤️

May

Oudong Monastery

Diane Petrella

Years ago, my husband Carl and I traveled to Cambodia and visited the Oudong Monastery where I received a blessing by the monks. Here’s a video of the monks chanting as I kneel in reverence for their gift. Would you like to experience the energy of this blessing, too? Get yourself relaxed, turn on the video and take two minutes to listen. I hope you enjoy this as much as I did. Namaste. ❤️

May

Being Courageously Fearful

Diane Petrella

Does fear limit your life?
Would you change your job, end an unfulfilling relationship, or start a business if you felt less afraid?
Are you waiting for more confidence before making that change?

If so, quit waiting. Be Courageously Fearful.

Fear and courage are inseparable friends. When you face your fears, you strengthen your courage muscle. The stronger your courage muscle, the more you face your fears.

Some fears are understandable responses to dangerous situations. Heed those message. But most fear stems from self-limiting and often, trauma-based, beliefs. Facing fear creates opportunities to heal and expand beyond those beliefs. This expansion opens a pathway to help you reach your deepest desires.

Fear comes in many disguises. It is sometimes a seemingly logical reason for why you won’t do something. Or it may be a belief that something is out of your reach, so you don’t even try. (more…)

Dec

How Healthy Boundaries Lead to Healthy Eating

Diane Petrella

Do you say, “Yes” when you really mean, “No?”

Do you agree to make a dish, attend a party, or host overnight guests when your schedule is already maxed out?

Do you disregard your needs just to please others?

And does the resentment you feel about doing this send you running to the tin of holiday cookies your neighbor brought over?

If you can relate, you’re not alone. Many people do not learn healthy boundaries growing up, especially if they experienced early trauma. With the added demands of the holiday season approaching, it’s crucial to your health that you know when to draw the line.

Me —> Boundary <— You

Boundaries are the emotional and physical borders we place between ourselves and other people. They reflect how we see and treat ourselves in relation to others.

Strong boundaries are essential for your health and self-care. They support you to make good decisions for yourself. Weak boundaries support others at your expense.

For example, Karen has strong boundaries and is very clear when she doesn’t want to do something. (“Thank you for the dinner invitation but no, I can’t. I’m looking forward to a quiet evening at home tonight.”) While she’s sensitive to other people’s feelings, she is not ruled by them.

Suzanne has weak boundaries and often says, “Yes” because she fears displeasing people. (“Sure, I’ll meet you tonight,” she tells her friend. She then beats herself up, “Why did I say that?! I have tons of work to do!”) Her fear of disappointing people makes their needs more important than her own. The resulting resentment and anger she feels send her straight to the fridge. Can you relate?

Honor Yourself

If you struggle with setting boundaries around your time and energy, somewhere along the way you probably learned your feelings and needs didn’t matter. Trust me, though, your feelings are the only things that matter. (more…)

Jun

Your Beach Body Alternative

Diane Petrella

“Are you beach body ready?”
“Got those bikini abs?
“3 Ways to get killer thighs!”

Hmmm…really?

Over the past month you’ve probably seen articles urging you to scramble and get your “beach body” ready for summer. I saw one magazine cover that said, “Get a great beach body in 3 days!”

Three days. No kidding.

I’m 66 years old and even when I was younger I always thought these Cosmo-type articles were annoying. I know this appeals to the desire to comfortably wear bathing suits, shorts, and sleeveless clothes. I get it. But fitness is for all season long, not just for summer. Wearing fewer clothes in hot weather can feel intimidating enough to those who already lack confidence with their bodies.

I have an alternative.

Instead of fretting about getting your beach body ready, how about making friends with your body all year long? Here are five promises to make to your body this summer… and to keep forever.

1. I promise to speak to you kindly.
(No self-criticism.)

Negative thoughts create stress in your body. Loving thoughts heal. When you catch yourself saying “I look awful” or “I hate my body,” simply notice, without judgment, and say to that thought, “OK, here I am again.”

Take several deep breaths. With each inhalation, imagine breathing in loving energy from your Higher Power (or Wise Self, Spirit, God—whatever word you associate with a higher spiritual energy). With each exhalation, imagine releasing negativity from your body. Then say to your body, “I’m sorry for talking to you this way”. Forgive yourself and move on. Stay determined. Changing habits of thought take time. By creating a space of love, self-compassion, and forgiveness, the cycle of negativity wanes and eventually stops.

2. I promise to accept you the way you are and hold you with pride.
(Head held high; shoulders back.)

It may feel hard to think of accepting your body if there are aspects of it you don’t like. But when you stop fighting against your body, your relationship strengthens. One step you can take to feel more accepting of your body is to carry it with self-respect. If you feel self-conscious about your body, holding it with pride may feel unnatural at first. That’s OK. Sometimes you need to “fake it ’til you make it.” (more…)

Nov

4 Powerful Ways to Express Your Gratitude

Diane Petrella

We’re coming up on Thanksgiving Day in the U.S. If you’re reading magazines, articles, and posts on the internet, you’re probably seeing a lot about gratitude right now.

While the holidays can be a joyful and blessed time, they also can be especially challenging when you’re struggling with emotional eating triggers, finances, strained family relationships, and the stress of this lingering pandemic. Perhaps you feel a disconnect with this push to feel grateful if you’re feeling overwhelmed, lonely, or scared.

If so, that’s okay. Don’t deny your feelings. Acknowledge all of them. But know when to let it go so they don’t spiral out of control. Because it’s so important to remember that even with all the triggers and extra stress of the holiday season, there are so many blessings in each of our lives. And it is a beautiful and rewarding practice to take time to be thankful for these, big and small.

While you’re acknowledging all the gifts in your life, I want to encourage you to recognize the most important blessing of all: (more…)

Aug

Do You Want to Lose Weight…or Release Weight?

Diane Petrella

Why I (often) use the phrase, “release weight” rather than “lose weight”:

The terms “weight loss” and “losing weight” long have been associated with shedding those extra pounds. Because people search for information using these terms, I often use them, too.

But I’d like you to consider another way to think about letting go of your extra weight.

Words are powerful beyond measure. The meaning and intention of each word emits energy. This energy is on a continuum: From a high energetic vibration that uplifts you to a low energetic vibration that drains you… and everything in between.

When I work with clients, I’m vigilant about the words they use. I teach them to change their energy—and their perspective—simply by using higher vibration words.

So when it comes to reaching your desired weight, think about this:

“LOSS” means “the state or feeling of grief when deprived of someone or something of value.” That definition doesn’t make you very happy, does it?

“RELEASE” means “allow (something) to move, act, or flow freely.” Sounds more uplifting, right?

The thing is, emotional eating and long-term weight issues are symptoms of something deeper. It’s not really about food and “losing” the weight. It’s about those painful feelings you’ve been holding in your mind, heart—and energy field—and learned to numb with food. As you allow the pain you’re holding onto to release—little by little—you lighten your heart. As you lighten your heart and no longer need food for comfort, you free yourself to gain confidence and unconditional self-love… and release the extra weight.

Here’s a simple exercise so you can see what I mean.  

Get quiet. Close your eyes. Take a few breaths to relax.
Then, say to yourself three times: “I want to lose weight.”  
Notice the sensations in your body.
Clear that away and then repeat to yourself: “I want to release weight.”
Notice the sensations in your body.
Open your eyes.

What do you notice? 
How does your body feel? 
Does your spirit feel light or heavy?

  Several years ago I posted this exercise to my Facebook page. Here’s what people experienced: 

“Saying ‘losing weight’ caused me to tighten up. ‘Release’ was a much softer request allowing me to let go.” 

“Freeing and pleasant verses yucky.” 

“Lose weight caused me to feel anxious. Release weight left me feeling calm, determined and optimistic.” 

“Lose weight immediately made me feel tight and release weight felt light.”  

“It felt like to release something is to own my freedom to really love me and my body. No stress attached to saying release weight.”   

Your Choice

You still may decide to say “lose weight” depending on who you’re talking with. But when you talk to yourself or like-minded people, practice using the term “release”.

It just may help lighten your journey.

And your body, too.

Did you try it? Please share your experience below!

(Photo by Andre Hunter on Unsplash)